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Luck Tsotsi Shebeen in Darlinghurst

Well it had to happen sooner or later, a Shebeen had to open in Darlinghurst, (245 Oxford Street) of all places? WTF? My recollection of the Shebeens in South Africa are somewhat hazy, both smoke and alcohol wise and I remember very big beers there. In fact if you drank anything that came in a container less than 1 litre you got automatically ejected via the rear entrance by your ear. I also remember the prices were fairly low, given they were mostly illegal. So Im assuming the Lucky Tsotsi is both illegal and cheap if it is to follow in the footsteps of its African predecessors’.

I also expecting to see a couple of Hiace’s parked outside in disrepair and plumes of zol smoke bellowing from the windows, loud music playing on a really bad sound system, corrugated iron and string holding the place together and finally I should also be somewhat fearlful for my safety if this to be a true Shebeen experience. OK, maybe I just visited the upmarket ones…

I spoke with Gazza, we reckon they will have gone soft. There will be no smoking, fancy beer in small bottles, outrageous prices and a bunch of well behaved yuppies eating peri peri   chicken and maybe a small, neat starter of bunny chow.  The peri peri is probably not even that hot? OK, we are excited and pre judging this place. But it is in Darlinghurst not Bankstown?

Anyway, about time we had a Shebeen in Sydney, but why not Kings Cross or Bankstown I dunno? Always looking for an excuse to visit the Cross. The girls are friendly and its a bit of a skande, but in some of the clubs they don’t wear much either, so its definitely more interesting than the Bankstown RSL. I digress. So looking forward to popping into the Shebeen sometime when I have managed to save up enough dollars for the train trip, and if this happens we will report back on our experience. Does a Castle Lager really cost 8 bucks there?

Back to the Lucky Tsotsi, whoever he is. I asked Gazza if he knew what a Tsotsi was and he thought I was saying Tot siens badly, even though he is an Aussie he has picked up some of “die taal” along the way. Anyway I reckon the Tsotsi can consider himself lucky to be in Sydney and even luckier that the Kaksak has discovered his existence, maybe.

Does this mean I have to put my bed on bricks now?

 

 

Google Nigeria

Just in case you were wondering about how Google works in Nigeria. Welcome to Africa…

Google Nigeria

The Machine Gun Preacher

The Kaksak just watched the Machine Gun Preacher based on the true story of Sam Childers a bad ass bikie, turned christian and then later preacher who ended up in Africa (Southern Sudan) built an orphanage and has been fighting the infamous Joseph Kony and his LRA who were abducting children and making them into child soldiers. I have never met Sam or Joseph, but have lived in Africa and done military service in various African countries as well as traveled into Africa. So my knowledge and experience of the matter is based on these and what we have read.

If half of what is in the movie true is true, hats off to this man. There are also a number of sites criticizing the work being done and the outreach program. Im the first to be weary of charities and believe they should always be checked out, this is not a call for support, you make your own decisions in that regard.

But, having lived in Africa and traveled around Africa I see many laptop warriors who seem never to have visited and seem intent on applying western standard and politics and this really gives me and the crew the shits. You can argue over pedantics of where the orphanage is geographically, whether it is still unsafe or unsafe, what a small number of children are helped, what other relief programs are in the area, but the bottom line is that Sam Childers currently has around 300 children in his orphanage and I would have to argue that these 300 children and the ones that came before them are better off that they were sleeping without protection and at the risk of abduction. They get fed, are unlikely to be abused and get some education. Life is hard in Africa, this man has made a difference I have no doubt in these peoples lives.

So well done Sam Childers for making a difference and putting your money where your mouth is. Good luck with the movie and raising awareness of abuse in Central Africa and with your tour of Australia. Where children are involved this is always sad and unacceptable.

This has been a Kaksak rant, but I think a worthwhile one. We will try stick to the humour for a little while again. Do watch the movie, we all enjoyed it.

 

Life’s Great Conundrums

Some of Life’s great conundrums and questions we need to answer, this weekend! Happy Easter and hope the Easter bunny was kind:

  • Instant water. Just add water?
  • You drive 5 km in heavy traffic to the gym, to sit on a stationery bike
  • Where did Noah keep the woodpeckers?
  •  You have a doorbell but everyone texts or calls when they arrive
  • Before drawing boards were invented, what did corporate folk go back to?
  • If bikinis show 90% of the female body, why does everyone always look at the 10%?
  • Girls want to look sexy, but don’t really want to have sex?
  • When you call the bank you input your customer number, then they ask you for your customer number
  • The weather people can tell you sunrise to the minute in 5 years time but cannot tell you accurately if it will rain tommorrow
  • The problem with common sense being that it’s not really that common
  • If you go out with the intent to fail but succeed, what have you done?
  • Porn is a billion dollar industry nobody is watching
  • I saw a Prius with mag wheels
  • If you refuse to pay the exorcist would you get repossessed?
  • Why does sour cream have an expiry date?
  • Why did they call him the Lone Ranger, when he was always with Tonto?
  • How would you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
  • What women see in Russell Brand?
  • What women fail to see in the Kaksak

The last thing I saw

I remember nothing. This was the last picture taken on my mobile phone…

The last photo taken on my mobile

Apparently the K Mart is still under repair and there are also numerous claims from both customers and staff for injuries ranging from missing eyebrows, to toxic fume inhalation and burns to skin. The kebab shop around the corner is denying everything but they have pulled their Double chilli beef and bean kebab. No explanation given.

 

Have you ever been so pissed off…

Have you ever been so pissed off?

The answer is Yes, every Monday morning…

Shit South Africans say

Shit South Africans say – ja nee boet. Eish but I miss it sometimes.

 

What a missed call means

What a missed call on a mobile really means…..

Mobile phone missed call meaning

Ain’t life great…

Homesick for South Africa

Very clever post courtesy of Immigration South Africa. They want us back, until you start doing the paperwork that is. Neverthess this brings back fond memories and makes me homesick. Going of to sing Nkosi to myself and quietly drink a  VB.

Homesick for South Africa

Nude Cleaning

That’s right, you heard it first you can hire a nude cleaner, accountant, or whatever. Just have to live in Africa that is all. Gazza has identified some drawbacks to this service and we suggest you always pay with a credit card and check the Terms and Conditions closely. He has only tried this one and for some reason now prefers fully clothed options.

Nude house cleaner

Equal opportunity prevails in Australia. To do this right we believe the services we would like naked cleaning extended to, include:

  • Jockeys
  • Politicians, if you want to ask a question in question time, you should do it au natural. No more live TV coverage
  • Anything to do with fitness trainers
  • Company receptionists, age limits may apply here
  • Eastern suburbs yoga classes (These probably exist already)
  • The dustbin men
  • Anyone who works in marketing
  • Anyone with modelling experience, doesn’t really matter what they do

Exemptions

  • Pensioners
  • Hairy tradies who work up ladders
  • Lebanese people (We dig you and live with you, just don’t work around naked)
  • Regular McDonalds eaters
  • Anyone who works in accounting, actuarial science or with computers

 

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