Shockers I know, but they were sent in, what can I say…
Q. What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.
Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes skippers tossed the coin on Boxing Day?
Andrew Strauss called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Ricky
Ponting: “You lads can bat.”
Just as quick, Ponting replied: “No, we can’t. We really can’t.”
Q. What do you call an Australian with a celebratory champagne bottle in his hand?
A. A waiter.
Q. Of everyone in the Aussie team, who spends the most time at the crease?
A.The ironing lady who does their whites
Q. What’s the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
A. Nothing! If you blink you’ll miss them both.
Q. What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
A. They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. Why is no one drinking beer in Australia at the moment?
A. They don’t have any openers
Q. What’s the difference between Cinderella and an Australian batsman?
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball
More of the best Australian Jokes here!