Funny Out of Office replies to start the new year

Just to cheer you up for the first day back at work for 2012. Top “Out of Office replies”:

  • You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you would not get a response at all.
  • Thanks for your email. I was unable to automatically delete emails while on holiday, but not to worry they will be deleted on my return
  • I promised my wife I would be attentive and “offline” during my holiday, so if you want to screw up up marriage and my holiday then resend this email
  • Thanks for your email. You will be invoiced for $1 for the first 10 words and 50c per word thereafter at this email address. Payment terms are 14 days.
  • Our email server was unable to verify your server connection. Please close Outlook, reboot your machine and try re sending this email until you stop receiving this error message.
  • Stop harassing me at this email address! Constant harassment is the lowest form of bullying and if you email me here again, I shall report you to the police
  • Thank you for your email. Given the current demand for my time, you can expect a response in around 38 weeks. Thank you.
  • If you cared for me as much as you say you do, you would stop sending me these crappy emails.
  • Thank you for your email.  I am out the office for medical reasons for 2 weeks. On return please call me Jan rather than John. Thanks
  • Hi, Thanks for your email. I have submitted it to 14 spam email lists so you can see what it is like to get worthless crappy emails like these continuously
  • By sending this email, you have been automatically included on our email subscription lists for porn, poker and cheap Viagra.