Rudd v Gillard and who will win

Wow, when Pik Botha and PW Botha were in charge there was none of this kak. Now unless you are a back stabbing whinger with high self interest you cannot hack it in politics.

Anyway, the Kaksak in the interest of public policy thought we should consult the Sangoma on who might be victorious on Monday. Basically, either way Julia is rooted and we don’t mean by the First Bloke either… So this is exactly what the Sangoma saw in his (Made in China) bones.

If Julia wins, her approval rating will drop below 15% which is the death knell and most likely Steven Smith will take over within 3 months anyway. If Julia loses she will be on the backbench and most likely out of a job in 3 months. Read on.

If Kev wins he will be PM and put Julia on the back bench. If Kev loses he will become an independent and take the Government to an election anyway. He is popular in his seat in Queensland, so he would retain it and his job and live out the the rest of his days in a chilled state. He has enough frequent flyer miles now to continue travelling, but is actually pretty gatvol after travelleing so much at the Kaksaks hard earned tax dollars.

Only drama might be if Kev wins and the independents do something silly, but why would they, they still have 18 months of the gravy train left.

Basically Julia can only come out of this badly. As for Wayne Swan it will probably be worse, but then as a short bloke he should be used to this kind of shit.

So the Kaksak is watching with interest to see who will prevail.  Being completely independent we have decided to share would we believe would be suitable punishments for both Kev and Ms Gillard if the other wins:

Anyway, here goes:

What Kev will do:

  1. Only allow side profile head shots of back bench parliamentarians going forward
  2. Institute a parliamentary swimsuit calendar compulsory for backbenchers for 2012. Julia will be Miss March and be featured with a large knife strategically placed
  3. Enforce the saying or prayers in parliament, to be lead each day by Julia
  4. Make her share an office with Bob Katter and Andrew Wilkie
  5. Double the allowances for MP’s with children

What Julia will do:

  1. Make Kevin pay for his own dam flights
  2. Only allow him to speak in parliament on one condition, if he promises not to use the words “and let me say this”
  3. Ambassador in Baghdad, effective immediately
  4. Make him share an office with Oakshott and Windsor
  5. Actually none of the above, if he goes, so will she….
What the Kaksak says. Kev, you have the balls to stand up and try and take back what was yours, good on you, you deserve to be PM for giving it a go. We support you. Right after Tony Abbott.