If you are happy being South African clap your hands, if you’re happy being South African clap your hands…. and know this. There is never a dull moment in Africa and here are the pictures to prove it from last weekend.
I left my mother in laws after Sunday breakfast, got back to the car and what do you find. A moerse Python in the engine keeping warm. No problem, you swing it by the tail over the fence and then lag as the neighbours all come climbing over the wall screaming.
Even the beggars are innovative in Africa. Checked this one on the way home. Slipped the brother R10 for effort alone! He said “it’s true boss they even handcuffed the cow and put it in the van” and I said Ja boet!
You get home and what do you fine? A hippo passed out on the patio. Blerrie drunk partying hippos. You don’t tolerate hangovers where I come from. So you gatskop the hippo until he goes back to the river and you tell him next time not to drink so much on a Saturday night.
Next you head down to the pool and kak, there is a giraffe having a goef. This is bullshit you scream, “kry die fok uit my swembad” and again once the langnek is out you gatskop him back to the river, going past the hippo and giving him an extra one for good measure.
After all of that I head a headache. Where better to go than a NHS approved doctor who can sort out not only my headache but assist with salary increases, erections and many more ailments at a fraction of the cost.
There you go, you live in Africa you better have a sense of humour.
Finally drink driving is OK as long as its done right. You can never remember where you went or how you got there so the end result will be the same. Not to mention the invisible car…