You know you are South African when…

We at the Kaksak find the following tests highly appropriate in case you are in any doubt as to whether you are South African:

  • Your employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are
  • You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never had any
  • Drying out perfectly good meat and eating it weeks later is considered a delicacy
  • You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them
  • You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela
  • You go to braais regularly, where you eat tjops and boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously
  • You know that there’s nothing to do in the Orange Free State
  • You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’s licence when stopped by a traffic officer
  • Travelling at 120 km/h and you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway/freeway
  • You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement
  • You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car
  • You go to a wedding or other great event and watch the rugby and this is totally accepted and understood
  • You know a taxi can move twice it’s certified number of people in one trip
  • People are more¬†terrified¬†after 5 minutes in a taxi than appearing on a whole episode of “Supernatural”
  • To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
  • More people vote in a local reality TV show than in the local election
  • People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given, Patience, Portion, Coronation
  • “just now” can mean anything from a minute to a month
  • You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
  • You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it
  • A bullet train is being introduced, but the Government can’t fix potholes
  • The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
  • You paint your car’s registration on the roof and this is considered normal
  • Prisoners go on strike
  • Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa
Thanks for the contribution from one of our avid and favourite readers….