Tag Archives: Email

Funny Out of Office replies to start the new year

Just to cheer you up for the first day back at work for 2012. Top “Out of Office replies”:

  • You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you would not get a response at all.
  • Thanks for your email. I was unable to automatically delete emails while on holiday, but not to worry they will be deleted on my return
  • I promised my wife I would be attentive and “offline” during my holiday, so if you want to screw up up marriage and my holiday then resend this email
  • Thanks for your email. You will be invoiced for $1 for the first 10 words and 50c per word thereafter at this email address. Payment terms are 14 days.
  • Our email server was unable to verify your server connection. Please close Outlook, reboot your machine and try re sending this email until you stop receiving this error message.
  • Stop harassing me at this email address! Constant harassment is the lowest form of bullying and if you email me here again, I shall report you to the police
  • Thank you for your email. Given the current demand for my time, you can expect a response in around 38 weeks. Thank you.
  • If you cared for me as much as you say you do, you would stop sending me these crappy emails.
  • Thank you for your email.  I am out the office for medical reasons for 2 weeks. On return please call me Jan rather than John. Thanks
  • Hi, Thanks for your email. I have submitted it to 14 spam email lists so you can see what it is like to get worthless crappy emails like these continuously
  • By sending this email, you have been automatically included on our email subscription lists for porn, poker and cheap Viagra.

Happy Easter

Hope all the readers have a Happy Easter and remember the real reason behind Easter. Not just Easter Eggs if you know what I mean.

We have made some changes here at the Kaksak. Firstly you can now subscribe to get a humour dose. Still working out how often this will go, i.e. weekly, monthly or dailly etc. Any feedback let us know. Also we will allow advertising soon. If you want to reach an African Australian audience this is the place. OK, we just need to pay some overheads…

We also have a new blogger and joke provider called Hennie who comes from Welkom and lives in Aus now. Hennie used to be a welders assistant and drive a Ford Concertina but has found fame and fortune on the Internet in recent years. Since then he has come clean and is wearing his clothes at work as well. He has 3 kids and lives closer to the Northern suburbs than Im comfortable, but as we say in the Kaksak offices, the only thing constant is change. It is the rate of change Im tring to manage. Please welcome Hennie on board.

Other than that, nothing to report, this is Australia and its time for another party. Believe it or snot. Think I might go as the Easter bunny….

The Kaksak.

Effective Use of Logo, email and piecharts

This series of email posts included in the attached pdf is hilarious. For the record I have no idea who these people are, if they actually exist and even if the conversation took place, but it was entertaining. If fact I cannot even recall who sent this in.

Free and the Effective-use-of-logo-email-and-piecharts PDF here. Not this is a PDF download. Do not be afraid. PDF’s are safe.

Happy Valentines Day!

More jokes than you can handle here…