It’s Tuesday after a long weekend and I am seriously gatvol. Can’t wait for the weekend again.
More kak this weekend. We had a party Sunday at Kobus’s house. Kobus comes from a reasonably conservative family to say the least and having a party on Sunday was not easy to organise. In fact it was not really a party, more like some mates coming around for fellowship, which involved beers and chicks and which then involved music (We always said there would be music to his mom, just didn’t tell her we wouldn’t be singing) and no one told Gazza (Our token Aussie) not to put the details on his Facebook page, so it got a little out of hand. Fortunately different cops this time, so I was not recognised.
Anyways, Monday morning Kobus’s mom goes out early in her car which is a Volvo. I had a very sore head, told Kobus’s dad I thought it was something I ate, maybe the boerie, which went down like a piece of boerie in a Vegetarian restaurant because he had in fact made the boerie. Anyway, after a short embarrassing silence we said we were leaving and walked out as Kobus’s mom arrived home.
I noticed some scuff marks on the bonnet and made the point she should not wipe dust dry on the bonnet as it could ruin the paint. I then also noticed Gazza had some dust on his hoodie top. I was about to say “Gazza, do not wipe the car with your top China” She didn’t even notice and said to Kobus she thinks someone passed out on her car bonnet and it is disgusting that people drink that much. I agreed, but my head was bloody sore. Gazza starts pissing himself and says “Kobus mate, were you shagging on your mums car?. That was when the boerie landed on the barbie for Kobus’s mom. Her mouth dropped, face turned grey and I could see the kak train pulling into the station, faster than a train should.
I started laughing and snorting through my nose. I think 1 of my sinuses actually popped out. I pretended to be sneezing and turned to run, but the throbbing hangover temporary blinded me and I ran straight in front of the neighbour’s car, who was pulling out of his driveway and had to brake. I swerved to avoid getting run over, but given my state of mind I was still thinking about the car even though my body had changed direction, and ran straight into a 100 year old fokken tree, and then fell backwards onto a small bamboo plant. Has not been pleasant sitting down today. Back to the story, in this half conscious state I could here Kobus getting kakked on, bigtime.
Turns out it was Gazza and Kobus’s sister. He swears he tripped as she was walking past and they both fell onto the bonnet and that nothing happened. You be the judge…