Tag Archives: Soccer World Cup

FIFA 2010 Soccer World Cup in South Africa, alternate coverage

World Cup Springbok Rugby Jersey

The Bokke have just released their new Springbok Rugby jersey for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. There was mixed reaction from the team with the front rowers and the back line players divided.

The front rowers think this will be hugely useful everytime there is a scrum (Think flash cards) and the wings and centres believe the jersey will be hugely useful out late at night in the pubs of New Zealand.

You decide:

 

Crouch Touch Pause Engage Jerseys
Wold Cup Springbok Rugby Jersey

 

Read our Rugby World Cup 2011 Analysis here..

FIFA World Cup – Closing Ceremony

The Kaksak is officially signing off from the World Cup, Bafana Bafana is out, the Socceroos are out and the hangover is starting. Gazza has had a sickie now for fokken 2 weeks, he has to dos every day to make up for watching kak soccer. I have been far more conscientious and going to work, but sleeping there. On Monday actually fell asleep on the train and woke up in Bondi Junction by mistake. Apparently the rich people live there but they definitely do not spend the money on food, they are all thin man. Want to see healthy burger eating people, come out west. Anyway, was moerofa late for work and got into kak with my Supe (Supervisor). I told him what happened and he said Kak man youse were late from oversleeping and watching the soccer. I showed him the bus ticket from Bondi and he said I probably got the bus there to watch it there? WTF?

I have started to see Vuvuzela’s around the traps. Who knew they would become the scourge of the sporting world. Here in Aussie they are being rebranded the Vuva, as we are fancy in Aus and have to shorten everything. Also the trademark Vuvuzela was taken. Container load arrives next month. Designed on Africa, Idea stolen by Gazza and me and made in China. Send me $10 and Ill book 1 for you. Just kidding, too scared of the authorities.

The sporting management is this country are such a bunch of fun police I reckon you were get 2 years with no parole if you blew one while watching the Wallabies. I think there is more noise and atmosphere in a morgue then watching rugby at Homebush these days. Some Vuva’s would definitely brighten up the game. Can you image the do-gooder bitching that would go on.

Wonder if Julia Gillard has one. Every politician should have one in fact, then they could blow their own horn without blowing their own horn if you know what I mean. They could also use them in parliament when a good or bad comment is made. In fact it was such a slow news day today Tony Abbott burn’t his budgie smugglers. Why didn’t they blow a vuvuzela next to him in honour of the budgie? Would have made it more newsworthy.  I think Kevin Rudd should have had one and blown it at Julia Gillard in his office every time she started talking about the #spill last week and it would never have happened! I’m wondering if they could use a vuvuzela to stop the leaking oil in the gulf. Maybe just have a guy following the BP CEO with one to constantly remind him of the oil pollution with noise pollution.

So Well done Africa on hosting the World Cup. Sorry to the Aussie tourists who got robbed by the Nigerians, but you what did you expect in Africa? Charitable Nigerians to help you with directions?

If I were a betting Kaksak, I would put my kaksak dollars on ze Germans.

Over it….

Australian and South African Anthems disected

Which of these 2 countries would you least like to go to war with, and which would you most like to live in. This is a question on some South Africans minds. We at the Kaksak, being ever mindful to help people decided to disect the national anthems of both countries to help you decide, so you can be the judge, we have put the power back in your hands. Community services from the Kaksak.

Australian Flag

Australian National Anthem interpreted for South African immigrants

Australians all let us rejoice – Let have a party, we love a good party, lets have a party yeah!

For we are young and free – Lots of good looking chicks around and most enjoy a root

We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil – We have lots of resources, but there is no cheap labour and working is hard, so selling the resources is the best road to wealth

Our home is girt by sea – We know this as we all live near the beach, and go there the whole time

Our land abounds in natures gifts of beauty rich and rare – Again, lots of good looking chicks

In history’s page, let every stage, Advance Australia fair – Our memory is hazy of who was here first, but now its all fair and lets look forward

South African FlagSouth African Anthem interpreted for Aussies

Uit the blou van onse hemel – We will come from the heavens above

Uit die diepte van ons see – We will come from the depths of the ocean

Oor ons evige gebergtes – We will come from over the mountains

Waar die kranse antwoord gee – Even the fokken cliffs will hear us coming

Onse sal antwoord op jou roepstem – You call us, we come

Ons sal offer wat jy vra – We will come, no shit

Ons sal lewe one sal sterwe – and bliksem you, or die trying

Ons vir jou Suid Afrika – For you South Africa, Jacob, Julius, Nelson and brothers

Never let it be said the Kaksak does no community service. I now know where I would rather live and who I would rather play rugby against.

What Bafana Bafana need to win the Soccer World Cup

We at the Kaksak, being the soccer experts that we are decided to evaluate Bafana Bafana chances of winning the World Cup. Our methodology included the following:

  • Case of VB
  • Getting some of the cousins around
  • Talking sport for 2 hours
  • All aspects of Bafana Bafana’s current game analysed using the XBox
  • The last 10 wins of Bafana were analysed to see what made them the winning team. We could however get all the tapes, they were not televising games that far back and some of the beta tapes would no longer work

We came to the statistically horrifying outcome, that to win Bafana Bafana would have to adopt 1 of the following 2 strategies:

Strategy 1 : Some minor changes to the new Soweto stadium as follows:

New proposed soccer firled for Bafana to win world cup

Strategy 2: A new team, selected below

New proposed Bafana Bafana World Cup Team 2010

We believe that logistically strategy number 2 will be far easier to implement. We have forwarded both option to Jacob for consideration. Remember where you heard it first.