Tag Archives: sport

Soccer World Cup South African Style

So Gert, who I used to be at school with and who has finally come out the closet and Im not talking hide & seek sent me some updates on how World Cup 2010 preparations are currently going. I understand they classify everything under various categories, so to keep it simple, so here goes on the update.

1. Stadiums

After scouring South Africa for months at tax payers expense in 2006 , careful placements were made to ensure the appropriate people were enriched and that fields would be ready for 2010. The official in charge of this was Mr Happy Ngungungluvu. Unfortunately when construction of the soccer field started in late 2009 another empowerment deal had already been done for a large dam in the place of the field. When they contacted Mr Happy Ngungungluvu on the matter he said “I am not Happy”.

The soccer stadiums are ready

So, the stadiums are ready, this is where the the second round games are due to be played. No spectator stands were possible due to the final angle the stand would have sat at and the fact that all material was stolen in the 2 weeks this assessment was being made.

2. Safety and Police

Safety played 2 parts in the World cup. Firstly the safety of the workers was taken veru seriously on all the construction contracts. Below is an example of just how seriously onsite safety was taken. When Mr Reggae Molefe was interviewed, the first words were “You got something to eat my bra” he takes safety so seriously, he wil not even chance working without eating.

On site safety a priority for workers

The second safety strategy was around the safety and security of the fans. Only the best of the best were selected from the local police to ensure the highest levels of safety stayed in place for the duration of the World Cup. Below one of these cadets get put through his paces on the shooting range. Unfortunately the reporter on this specific piece was shot accidentally shortly after this photo was taken in the foot by the range instructor. Investigations are continuing.

Police cadets getting trained

3. Public Transport

Public transport is essential to ensure all those lucky fans attending the world cup can move around and get mugged, as after the loss the World Cup is going to make, other means are required to get more money into the economy and to the “people” The initial public transport strategy was put together by Wheels Machlaba in 2002, 2003, 2005, 2008 and eventually Julius Malema intervened to get this right and recommended the “Peoples Taxi” as shown below. A cheap form of transport, easily put together and which will bring out the entrepreneurial spirit among all South Africans. The first prototypes are shown below.

Public transport in action

4. Celebrities

After scouring the world for celebrities to attend, many of which were unfortunately busy, the South African Government invited many of the local celebrities to attend, only requiring proof of ID. Michael Jackson is thrilled that he will be attending, some of the guests were very surprised to see him on the guest list but when contacted the manager responsible for celebrity endorsements, Gladys van Rooyen confirmed it was definitely Michael and he would be in attendance and then faxed through his passport to prove it.

Local celebrities

5. Cheerleaders

For the first time, proper cheerleaders will support each of the foreign teams. They were selected in 2005 and won “all you can eat” Kentucky vouchers valid until the end of the world cup. Estelle, pictured below on Durban beach was thrilled and is looking forward to supporting the various foreign teams. She says of the outfits are quite raunchy and when she saw them all she could say was “Jisllaaik, is dit a G string of a tassle?” but after several practice sessions and resizings, she is ready to put it all out there and is hoping to pic up some photo shoots in Sports Illustrated for the August edition.

Soccer Cheerleaders for the World Cup

So South Africa is good and ready. The beer is cold, the Zol is dried and Bafana Bafana have got no hope and no chance of winning the cup. The Kaksak would have loved to have attended but has fokol scheldt and fokol tyd.

Real man? Sure you are….

For all you office dwelling, educated metrosexuals who trudge to work in your high powered BMW’s at the grand speed of 60kmph. All those of you who think the outdoors is walking barefoot through the Sheraton. Watch this and realise exactly how much of a naff you probably are…

Apparently no underwear was harmed in the making of this video….

Ernie by popular demand

OK, can you all stop bugging me. Here is the famous Ernie Els video where he manages to pull the shot and swears in Afrikaans. Very funny if you like Golf and understand Afrikaans, or know someone who understands Afrikaans and can translate for you. Enjoy. We never talk like this in Australia. Ernie Els, I was shocked when I watched this. Have you been hanging out with Tiger lately? Cannot even understand the parallel. If you are watching, would appreciate some explaining young man….