Tag Archives: Tax

Gambling with the ATO

Its tax time and a man is sitting with his accountant going through his deductions at the Tax Office.

The Australian Tax Office (ATO) representative states that gambling losses are not deductible..

The man says, “But Im a gambler, if I can prove it will you allow them?”

Sure, says the ATO representative and yawns

The man says, “I will bet you $3,000 that I can bite my own eye.”

“You’re on” says the ATO representative, “and you accountant is my witness”

The man removes his glass eye, bites it and then returns it to his socket.

“Shit” says the ATO representative wondering how he is going to explain this to his wife.

“Ill tell you what ” says the man, “if I can bite the other eye, will you bet another $3,000?”. Pretty sure the man is not blind and with the option of squaring his debt, he agrees. The man duly removes his dentures and bites the other eyeball. The ATO representatives slips further into his seat and starts to realise he is truly rooted.

“OK” says the man.”How about double or quits? How about I bet  I can stand next to you and piss over your desk into your dustbin without getting a drop on your papers. Its tempting. The ATO representative thinks this is clearly a win and notices the mans accountant starting to look uncomfortable.

“OK” say the tax representative, “Lets see you do it, double or quits.

The man stands next to the ATO representative and proceeds to piss all over his desk and papers. The ATO representative jumps up, hugs him and says “I won”, “I won” The accountant at this stage bursts into tears.

“Whats wrong?” says the ATO representative.

He bet me $20,000 before this meeting that he could stand next to you, piss all over your papers, and that you would be happy about it….